Share your thoughts with in 1Community

William Gaultiere, Ph.D
Executive Director of New Hope, Psychologist ChristianSoulCare.com

What is prayer like for you? How do you really feel when you pray? You may pray out of duty or obligation. Or you may feel that your prayers don't make a difference - that God just stands there and stares at you. The Lord's Prayer can help you. Like me you've probably memorized the Lord's Prayer and said it more times than you can count. But some years ago I learned to pray Jesus' prayer in the way Jesus intended: not just repeating a rote prayer in church, but letting Jesus' words form my prayers in my heart. I want to show you how I do that, but first let's discuss prayer in general.

I heard a story on prayer and how it can be a struggle. There was a journalist was assigned to the Jerusalem bureau of his newspaper. He got an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. After several weeks he realized that whenever he looked at the wall he saw an old Jewish man praying vigorously.

The journalist thought this might be the story he was looking for so he went down to the wall. He introduced himself and said: "You come every day to the wall. What are you praying for?"

The old man replied: "What am I praying for? In the morning I pray for world peace, then I pray for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a glass of tea, and I come back to the wall to pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."

The journalist was taken by the old man's sincerity and persistence. "You mean you have been coming to the wall to pray every day for these things?"

The old man nods.

"How long have you been coming to the wall to pray for these things?"

The old man became reflective and then replied: "How long? Maybe twenty, twenty-five years."

Amazed, the journalist asked: "How does it feel to come and pray every day for over 20 years for these things?"

"How does it feel?" the old man replied. "It feels like I'm talking to a wall!"

OVERCOMING OUR MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT PRAYER

Prayer goes beyond our theology; it's about our "knee-ology" - what we experience in our hearts when we pray. We talk about having a "prayer life" because prayer is a living connection to the Living God, but for many of us prayer is not experienced as lively. This has to do with various misconceptions about prayer that weaken our faith. To grow in prayer we need to grow our faith (trust and confidence) in God. Let's start by seeing if we can clear up some of the confusion on prayer. (You may want to take the "Prayer Survey" to identify your heart beliefs about prayer.)

Prayer is not for spiritual giants. (Prayer Survey questions 1-5.)

You don't need to be "super spiritual" to be devoted to prayer. Don't expect yourself to be a spiritual giant. And don't give into guilt over your difficulties with prayer. God wants us to pray not because we should but because we delight in talking with him. The way to do this is to be yourself before God - your needy, struggling self. The way David does it in the Psalms (the Bible's model for prayer).

In prayer we're all like children. That's the only way to begin! Jesus told us:

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3, NIV).

Jesus gave us the Lord's Prayer to help us come to our Father as children. We need to reach up and take a hold of his hand and let him show us how. You may feel afraid to offer to pray out loud for someone. At times it may feel like God isn't responding to your prayers. Your mind is prone to wander sometimes in prayer. I struggle with these same issues! Yes, God's love and power are available to us in prayer, but we have to grow into this.

Richard Foster, author of the book Prayer, teaches that in prayer, just as in math or any other subject, the principle of progression applies. We start with the basics and move onto more advanced aspects. So we pray for God to guide us with a decision or to open a door of opportunity. Or we pray for a friend who is lonely or needs to find a job. Then as we see God work our faith grows to pray for even bigger challenges. Eventually we may learn to believe God for miracle healings or the fulfillment of huge dreams.

Prayer is not one-way. (Prayer Survey question 6.)

Prayer is not thinking. And it's not limited to talking to God. Prayer is real, interactive, two-way communication with God. We don't just talk to God; we also listen to him. Unfortunately, most of our praying gets limited to Prayers of Petition, asking God to bless us. As we'll see, this is an important type of prayer, but it's only one of the six pathways to prayer that Jesus offers us.

The other problem we have here is that we forget to listen to God. More than anything else, prayer is our response to God. Again and again the Scriptures exhort us to wait on God, to listen to him. We have to wait for him to speak then we respond by obeying him from our hearts. In other words, prayer is relating to God, conversing and interacting with him. Dallas Willard says,

"Prayer is talking to God about what we are doing together" (Divine Conspiracy, p. 243).

We could even say that prayer is three-way; it's God, me, and other people interacting. The whole context of the spiritual life is God-self-others. The Lord's Prayer is very much this way; it's about community; it's an "us" prayer, not a "me" prayer. Nine times in the Lord's Prayer we pray "our", "us", or "we", but not once do we pray "I", "me", "my" or "mine". So we're to pray the prayer with others and for others, as well as for ourselves.

It's no wonder that it's a community prayer when you realize that God is a community in his very nature. Like God himself, the Lord's Prayer is Trinitarian. Luke makes this clear in his gospel. He shows us Jesus teaching us to pray the Lord's Prayer to the Father so that we'd learn to ask him for the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:1, 2, 13). So we don't pray this prayer alone. We pray it with one another. And as we pray it we sense that Jesus is already praying it with us and for us. After all, these are Jesus words! The Father is here too, longing to hear from us. And the Spirit is deep within us connecting us truly and deeply with the Father.

Prayer is not a mere placebo. (Prayer Survey questions 7 & 8.)

Prayer really works because it affects God. He's blessed by our conversation with him and he even responds to our prayers to change reality. There have actually been scientific studies done to prove that prayer is effective, even if the person being prayed for is thousands of miles away and doesn't know it!

The Bible shows us that not only does prayer change us, but sometimes God even allows it to change his mind! The idea that God would be so affected by us as to change his mind scares some people theologically. They want to see God as unchanging, but taken to the extreme that makes him impersonal and turns prayer into nothing more than a psychological exercise that helps us. Consider these mysterious instances in the Bible of people of faith asking God to change a circumstance:

Abraham haggled with God getting him to lower the number of righteous people needed in Sodom and Gomorrah for God to spare the cities from fiery judgment (Genesis 18:16-33).

Moses pleaded with God not to destroy the Israelites after they made the golden calf and so God relented (Exodus 32).

Hezekiah begged God for more years of health and his life was extended (2 Kings 20).

God seems to have changed his mind in these examples. This encourages us to ask God for what we want. But, of course, God doesn't always respond the way we want!

David fasted and wept and pleaded in prayer for God to spare from death the first son that he and Bathsheba had, but the child died anyway. David's servants thought that David would despair since he didn't persuade God to give him what he wanted. Their view was that they'd love God only if he did what was asked. But while David believed that God really did respond to his requests he also believed that sometimes God's answer was no and David loved him however God responded (2 Samuel 12:15-23).

Prayer is more than an event. (Prayer Survey questions 9 & 10.)

I used to think that to pray I had to get on my knees for an hour! We do need intense, focused times of prayer, but prayer is so much more than this. It's meant to be a continuous conversation with God throughout the day. "Pray without ceasing" the Bible says (1 Thessalonians 5:17, KJV). Prayer is the process of our ongoing relationship with God. It's dynamic; it grows and evolves as our relationship with God develops. When two people are in a relationship they are impacted by the relationship. God has thoughts and plans, desires and feelings. He has things to say and things he's doing. He reveals himself to us and we reveal ourselves to him.

One of my favorite books is a little book called Practicing the Presence of God, which was written by Brother Lawrence four centuries ago. I've heard that after the Bible it is the most read book in the world. Brother Lawrence was a monk who learned to "pray without ceasing" and rejoice in the presence of God while doing kitchen work that he had a natural aversion to.

Prayer is Like Coming Home

There's so much we could say about prayer and what it means truly to have a "prayer life." I love the way Richard Foster describes the heart of prayer in his book, Prayer. He gives us a beautiful picture.

Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to him. He grieves that we have forgotten him. He weeps over our obsession with muchness and manyness. He longs for our presence.

And he is inviting you - and me - to come home, to come home to where we belong, to come home to that for which we were created. His arms are stretched out wide to receive us. His heart is enlarged to take us in.

For too long we have been in a far country: a country of noise and hurry and crowds, a country of climb and push and shove, a country of frustration and fear and intimidation. And he welcomes us home: home to serenity and peace and joy, home to friendship and fellowship and openness, home to intimacy and acceptance and affirmation.

We do not need to be shy. He invites us into the living-room of his heart where we can put on old slippers and share freely. He invites us into the kitchen of his friendship where chatter and batter mix in good fun. He invites us into the dining-room of his strength, where we can feast to our heart's delight. He invites us into the study of his wisdom where we can learn and grow and stretch.and ask all the questions we want. He invites us into the workshop of his creativity, where we can be co-labourers with him, working together to determine the outcomes of events. He invites us into the bedroom of his rest where new peace is found, and where we can be naked and vulnerable and free. It is also the place of deepest intimacy, where we know and are known to the fullest (Richard Foster, Prayer).

THE LORD'S PRAYER IS OUR WAY IN

"Martin Luther said that those well trained in 'warming up the heart' for prayer will 'be able to use a chapter of Scripture as a lighter'" (DW, p. 256). That's what the Lord's Prayer is. It's a lighter to ignite our prayers!

The first thing we need to understand about the Lord's Prayer is why Jesus taught it to his disciples. The disciples watched how Jesus prayed when no one else was looking and they so they were able to glimpse into the private, sacred space of Jesus' soul and how he related to his Father. It was obvious that he entered into another reality that was infused with God and brought divine glory, power, and compassion to those around him. He called this reality the "kingdom of the heavens." For instance, in the transfiguration we find Jesus praying and he's shining like the sun, talking with Moses and Elijah who "died" centuries earlier, and being affirmed by the voice of God that thunders from the heavens. It was soon after this that his disciples saw him alone praying to the Father early in the morning. When he finished they pleaded with him, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1).

This is what it means to be Jesus' disciples. We're his students or apprentices; we watch what our master does and how he does it and then we ask him to teach us. We should live our entire lives this way, as Jesus' apprentices, seeking to learn from him how to live our lives well. That's prayer: interacting with and learning from Jesus.

Prayer Pathways

There are many ways to interact with God. In his book, Prayer, Richard Foster did exhaustive research on the subject of prayer and identified 21 different types! We don't have time to discuss all 21. Instead, I want to introduce you to the six basic types of prayer that are woven together in The Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13, Luke 11:2-4). The way I want to do this is to show you how you might begin to apply the Lord's Prayer to your own prayer life by actually leading you in prayer right now! (This is a very brief summary of my talk, "Living the Lord's Prayer.") As you join me in prayer you may want to add specific prayers for yourself or others you are concerned about.

In the Lord's Prayer each phrase Jesus gives us is a gateway to a different prayer pathway, an important way for us to converse with God:

1. Worship (Praising God for who he is)
2. Surrender (Yielding ourselves to the Lord)
3. Petition (Asking for what you and others need)
4. Confession (Confessing our sins and resentments to receive and give forgiveness)
5. Warfare (Relying on God to overcome evil)
6. Thanksgiving (Appreciating God's blessings)

"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name"

The Lord's Prayer begins with worship. In the Prayer of Worship we tell God how much we appreciate who he is. We adore him. We praise his "name," which means his character. "How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God" (1 John 3:1).

Father your name is so precious to us! I'm amazed that you, the Creator and Lord Almighty, the holy and eternal one, would reveal yourself as Father. I was as an orphan when you came to adopt me into your loving family. I'm so privileged to be your child. You are always good and gracious. You bring heaven right here, right now. I love you! I love the way you ___________. And I pray for __________ to grow in appreciation of your glory.

"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven"

Now our prayer deepens and develops when we yield ourselves to God in the Prayer of Surrender. Bowing low, we ask him to be our King who rules our lives. We offer up to him our daily schedules for him to direct us in his will.

Jesus, we were foreigners, outside your kingdom when you came to us and invited us to become citizens in your kingdom of heaven! Yes, Jesus, I want you to govern my life! I want to work with you to advance your kingdom in my heart and life and through me to others. What are you leading me to do? (Listen for his answer!) Guide me in your will and your way today. I want all that I think, all that I desire, all that I say and do to be in partnership with you. I welcome whatever you have for me to do today. Use the events of this day to make me more like you Jesus and to accomplish your will through me. Today, I'm especially concerned about __________. And I pray for __________ to yield to you and join in your kingdom work.

"Give us this day our daily bread"

This part of the prayer is about more than bread or food. It's about all of our needs - my needs and your needs and others' needs. Jesus shows us that the way to get our needs is not by expecting others to figure out what we want, nor by being generous with others so that they'll be generous with us, nor by striving and competing. No. These are not God's ways. Jesus teaches us simply to ask, to humble ourselves like little children and ask for what we need today (Matthew 7:7-11).

Lord we come before you as hungry beggars and ask you to please provide what we need. Most of all we need you. I need you. You're the Bread of Life that I hunger for. I long for your presence and power, your words and works. Make me your waiter who passes out the bread of life to others. Today I need help with ___________. And I pray for __________.

"And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"

We can't get anywhere in prayer without forgiveness because without forgiveness we have no faith. (Jesus elaborates on this in Matthew 5:14-15, right after teaching us his prayer.) So at the heart of the Lord's Prayer we confess our sins to our Savior, the One who is "bursting with compassion" for us in the words of Jesus' brother James (James 5:11). To help us receive God's mercy James also encourages us to "Confess your sins one to another that you may be healed" (James 5:16).

Jesus we cry out for your mercy. We come to you as guilty sinners. I'm sorry for my sins. I've hurt you and others and myself. Please forgive me for ____________. And just as you have accepted me so also I forgive ____________. Wash us clean in the blood of Jesus. Free us from guilt and resentment and all the depression and anxiety and conflicts they create.

"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil"

We begin the Lord's Prayer by admiring God's greatness and now as we near the end of our prayer we acknowledge our own weakness in the face of life's battles. In this Prayer of Warfare Jesus teaches us to anticipate our specific vulnerabilities to succumb to temptation or to be defeated by the powers of darkness that war against us. This means, even before we're in a trial, when things are going okay, we should look ahead to the struggles that are likely to come our way and ask God to lead us in his way that is good for us - where we'll be safe in his care and free from harm.

Lord, we've been a prisoners of war, defeated by dark powers, trapped in sinful patterns. You've forgiven us, but still we're tempted. Save me Jesus! Set me free from the things that tempt me. Give me the strength to walk with you Jesus and to stay free of ____________. And I pray that you'd deliver ___________ from ___________. Make us your soldiers, fighting your battles in your power to advance your kingdom.

"For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."

We've come to the end of the Lord's Prayer. It's an important ending. It takes us back to the beginning of the Lord's Prayer where we worshiped God as Father and adored his holy name. Here were exclaiming a resounding "Amen!" (or "So be it!") that punctuates the whole prayer. This is the Prayer of Thanksgiving.

It's important to remember that this is "The Lord's Prayer" not "The Disciples' Prayer" as some people want to call it. The focus of each phrase in the prayer is the Lord, not me or you. It's his kingdom we live in, his power we live by, and his glory we live for. How readily I live in my kingdom, live by my power, and live for my glory. But his kingdom, his power, and his glory are such wonderful blessings to us!

Thank you Lord! Thank you for being our Father, King, Bread of Life, Savior, and Deliverer. Thank you for adopting us, guiding us, providing for us, forgiving us, and setting us free. Thank you for making us your children, your citizens, your servers, your saints, and your soldiers. Thank you for blessing me with ___________. Help ___________ to grow in gratitude to you. Amen.

And so a miracle transformation has occurred as we've prayed the Lord's Prayer. The One who is great in kingly authority, power, and glory is making us great like him! He changes us from the inside out to make us more like Jesus. He blesses us beyond our wildest imagination. So we thank him.

More than that, we show him our thanks by serving him as Christ's Ambassadors to others who are in need. We prayerfully invite others to live in his kingdom, by his power, and for his glory. And as we follow the way of Jesus, emptying ourselves in love to others as he has done for us, we find that his kingdom, his power, and his glory are indeed flowing through us!

William Gaultiere, Ph.D. is the Executive Director of the New Hope Crisis Counseling Center at the Crystal Cathedral and a Clinical Psychologist and Spiritual Director with ChristianSoulCare.com. On his website you can sign up for a free, bi-monthly inspirational e-mail.