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William
("Dr. Bill") Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Executive Director of New Hope
The greatest experience I've had in my life is the realization that
God is my Father. He adopted me to be his very own child!
I hope you've had that same realization. Even if your relationship
with your dad brought you pain or disappointment you can discover
that God is a loving Father.
For thousands of years of recorded history even God's people didn't
understand that He wanted to be their Father. "The God
of our fathers" yes, but not often as "Our Father."
Then God burst onto the human scene in Jesus and revealed that He
wanted to be our Father. The God who flung the stars in the
sky knows us so well as to know the number of the hairs on our heads!
He provides for our needs and cares about our every concern. He
wants to be our Loving Father!
Abba Father
And not only our Father, but our "Abba Father," which
means "Da-Da" or "Pa-Pa." This is incredible! "Da-Da"
is often the first words spoken by a little child. (This isn't
fair to mothers who go through the pain of childbirth and usually
do most of the childcare!)
What this means for you and I is that the youngest and most needy,
most vulnerable parts of us can reach up to God, call "Da Da," and
be welcomed into His arms and heart. God is that sensitive.
That nurturing. That safe. The child inside each of us is dearly
loved by our Heavenly Father.
We know that God is the kind of father that is gentle and playful
with little children because Jesus showed us this. He took time
to sit with children in his lap, to give them a blessing, and to
offer encouraging words. (Matthew 19:13-15)
Do you Experience the Father's Love?
How do you feel inside when you pray to God, calling Him "Father"?
Do feel safe and warm and cared for? (As the sparrow in Luke 12:6-7
and the little chicks in Psalm 91). Do you see Him smiling with
arms open wide to you? (As He's portrayed in the Parable of the
Prodigal Son, Luke 15:11-32)
I talk to many people, including committed Christians, who don't
experience God this way. They believe He is their Heavenly Father
and that He loves them, but they struggle to experience Him this
way. Often their experience of God relates to their experience
of their fathers. They say things like:
·
"To me, God the Father seems distant. I can't see
Him. I can't hear Him. I can't touch Him. I don't feel His love.
It's a lot like my dad. He provided for us, but I didn't have much
of a relationship with him."
·
"My parents divorced when I was three. I hardly
every saw my father after that. Now it's hard for me to connect
with God."
·
"My dad was an angry alcoholic. He used to refer
to himself as G.O.D., short for `Good Old Dad.' He thought it was
a joke, but I have the same distrust and disdain for my Heavenly
Father."
·
"There is a child in me who can't tell the difference
between Daddy who was always angry at me and God. Inside, I'm
scared to death of God."
·
"When you say that God loves me I have a hard time
not remembering my father molesting me while telling me he loved
me so much."
Think about your relationship with your father. How has it impacted
your image of your Heavenly Father? Have you projected onto God
disappointments or hurts you experienced with your father? If so
this can change. You can experience a healing of your father wounds.
Your father hunger can be satisfied by connecting with God. Here's
how to get started.
Look to your Dad
For better or for worse our childhood relationships with our fathers
(and our mothers, pastors, and teachers) is the psychological foundation
that our image and experience of God the Father is built upon.
So experiencing more of your Father God's love begins with assessing
these early relationships, especially with your dad. Appreciating
the good and forgiving the bad in your dad will help to clear the
way for you to see and feel God for who he is.
What good things did you receive from your dad? The gift of life?
Material provision? Physically being there at home, at special
events in your life, in times of need? Good advice? Kind words?
Praise? Appropriate affection? Listening and caring? Whatever
good you received from him, even if it's not much, is important
to appreciate it. Take it into your soul and thank your dad and
God.
How did you father disappoint you or hurt you? No father, except
God, is perfect. Being aware of your needs that weren't met and
your hurts that are left over is the beginning point to healing
and forgiving. Even if you don't feel safe reconciling your relationship
with an abusive father it's still in your interests to pray and
work at forgiving your father so that you can heal.
Look to Jesus
Earlier I referenced the tender scene of Jesus playing with the
children. Jesus often blessed children. (See also Matthew 11:25,
18:3, 19:14, 21:16) With people of all ages, Jesus was extraordinarily
caring. In his prayers, in his ministry to those in need, and in
his suffering and death for us Jesus showed us just what a
Loving Father we have.
This is one reason why reading the accounts of Jesus' life in the
gospels is such a blessing to me. When I see Jesus touching the
leper I know that God is extending a hand of comfort to the part
of me that I am embarrassed about. When I hear Jesus forgive the
woman caught in adultery I know that I am forgiven too.
And when I see and hear Jesus I know that I am seeing and hearing
my Heavenly Father. Jesus is God in human form and he did the very
things that God the Father does, he is the exact representation
of God the Father (John 10:30, 14:10), Hebrews 1:3).
Look to the Body of Christ
Have you ever thought about the Christian church being referred
to as "the Body of Christ"? Since Jesus ascended to heaven God
is present on earth in Spirit only which means he is invisible.
And at times we all need a "God with skin on" what the Apostle Paul
called an "ambassador" of God's reconciling love (2 Corinthians
5:20) Not to replace God, but to mediate His care to us and to
make it more tangible.
Along these lines, James said, "Confess your sins to each other
and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)
We're wise to not only confess our own sins to someone, as unto
God, but also the sins of our fathers, since these are passed down
to us, causing pain and tending to be repeated. (Leviticus 26:40)
We need to look for and appreciate our Heavenly in the people around
us and throughout God's creation as well.
Look to Prayer
David was called a man after God's own heart. He experienced a
closeness to God and a passion for God that all Christians admire.
Why? Because he shared with God his hurts and hopes, his fears
and faith, his complaints and thanksgiving - continually. He did
this in the psalms he wrote.
God ordained the Psalms to be right in the center of the Bible.
They say to us that God cares about all our feelings. That we can
talk to Him about anything, anytime. Even if we don't trust Him
or feel distant from Him or are angry with Him.
David talked to God this honestly. So did Job. Even Jesus did
as he sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane and as he
hung suffocating on the cross for the sins of all people. We can
be honest with God too.
So pray or write your own psalms and you'll feel more connected
to your Father God.
Look to the Father's Love in the Bible
In the Bible are "the Words of Life." Here we can see and hear
God our Father. Prayerful meditation on Scripture, day after day,
year after year, is essential to experiencing our Father's love.
And the Bible has a lot to say about God the Father. Here are a
few of my favorite verses:
"[The Father] guarded him as the apple of his eye." - Deuteronomy
32:10
"A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his
holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth
the prisoners with singing." - Psalm 68:5-6
"How much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those
who ask him!" - Matthew 7:11
"Your Father in heaven is not willing that any one of these little
ones should be lost." - Matthew 18:14
"While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled
with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around
him and kissed him." (Luke 15:20, read the whole story in Luke 15:11-31)
"Jesus
answered, `I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes
to the Father except through me.. Anyone who has seen me has seen
the Father." - John 14:6,9
"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor
[or Comforter] to be with you forever - the Spirit of Truth." -
John 14:16
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to
fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry,
`Abba, Father [or Pa Pa, Father].'" - Romans 8:15
"I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Corinthians 6:18 & 2 Samuel 7:14
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing
in Christ. For he chose us.. In love he predestined us to be adopted
as his [children]." - Ephesians 1:3-5
"Through [Christ] we. have access to the Father by one Spirit."
- Ephesians 2:18
"[God is] the Father from whom all fatherhood derives its name."
- Ephesians 3:15
"Now to [the Father] who is able to do immeasurably more than all
we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within
us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout
all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should
be called children of God!" - 1 John 3:1
William ("Dr. Bill") Gaultiere, Ph.D. is the Director of New Hope
Crisis Counseling at the Crystal Cathedral and a Psychologist with
www.ChristianSoulCare.com.
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