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By Dr. Kenneth
France
Use
all of these techniques with flexibility and common sense.
Models
of Response
- Use lots
of reflection. Recognize feelings whenever they are present.
- Sometimes
use open questions (usually beginning with "What" or "How").
- Only
use closed questions (usually can be answered with a "Yes"
or "No") when all you want is a brief reply.
- Avoid
leading questions, multiple questions, and "Why" questions
which tend to put people on the defensive.
- Stay
away from advice, analysis, sympathy, false reassurance and
unnecessary interrogation.
Problem
Solving
- Explore
thoughts and feelings. Recognize the circumstances.
- Consider
alternatives. Pull for options from the client.
A. "What have you tried?" (First summarize what you know the
person already has tried.)
B. "What have you thought about trying?"
C. "Right now, what other possibilities come to mind?"
- Develop
a plan that is negotiated, focused in the present, concrete,
and realistic.
Fine-Tuning
Although
fine-tuning focuses on mistakes, you can avoid most of these
errors by implementing four principles: (1) use the least amount
of authority necessary to accomplish your objectives, (2) demonstrate
your understanding of the client by reflecting what they say,
(3) use phrasing that seems natural and unrehearsed, and (4)
remember your ultimate purpose is to encourage productive change
while helping your chatter connect with God's best for them.
- Focus
on the client. Don't sidetrack the interaction to other
people or topics.
- Vary
the phrasing you use to begin reflections and vary the feeling
words you use.
- Use more
specific feelings words than "concerned," "upset," and "bothered."
- Avoid
phrases such as, ".makes you feel.." and ".you must be.."
- Avoid
qualifiers such as "a little" and "kind of" unless that is
what you mean.
- Avoid
extremely negative reflections such as, "Suicide is your only
solution."
- Avoid
strong words such as "hopeless," "helpless," and "depressed."
- Avoid
judgmental comments even if they are positive stamp of approval
comments such as "excellent," "wonderful," and "great."
- Avoid
talking in generalities or making general observations about
life, i.e. "Teenagers can be hard to handle."
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