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Remember to complete the attached exam for New Hope CE credit. Perfect CE attendance (either live class OR tape/notes & exam) for all classes in 2001 will receive a special certificate and award! SELF-ESTEEM IS SO IMPORTANT! We all need self-esteem. It's at the core of sound mental health; it helps us to be happy, healthy, productive, and to have good relationships with God and others.

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

One night before dinner about two years ago, my "almost six" year old daughter wanted to pray. After thanking God for her family and the food she exclaimed, "And thank you for me! And for my birthday coming up and that I was born. Amen!" That’s self-esteem — liking yourself, your personality, your gifts, the way you are, and what you have to offer. Self-esteem has little to do with what you look like or what you’ve accomplished or the image you project. It’s about placing value on the true you, who you are from the inside out. HOW’S YOUR SELF-ESTEEM? Take the self-test, "Do You Esteem Yourself?" This will give you a better understanding of what self-esteem really means and it will help you to assess how strong your self-esteem is and what areas you need to work on. BECOMING REAL: THE BEGINNING OF SELF-ESTEEM I’m sure you’ve heard of the story the Velveteen Rabbit. It’s a precious story. There’s a little stuffed bunny rabbit who dreams of being Real and talks about it often with the other toys in the nursery. The Skin Horse encourages him and tells him how this miracle can happen only if he is truly loved. The mechanical toys tease and taunt him because they know it isn’t possible for a toy to be real and that they, being mechanical, are the closest a toy can get to "real." One day the toys owner, a small boy, picks up the Velveteen Rabbit and starts sleeping with him every night. The boy grows to love his rabbit and takes him everywhere with him. Eventually the fuzz wears off the rabbit. He looks shabby and worn, but not to the boy who loves him so and talks to him all the time. The rabbit is so happy in the boys love and knows that his dream has come true and he is real! There’s a sad turn when the boy gets scarlet fever and the doctor throws out the rabbit in the garbage. But a fairy comes and tells him that because of the boy's love for him, he could now be turned into a physically real rabbit. People become real — develop a sense of self, a true self (awareness of their feelings, needs, struggles, gifts, personality, hopes) — the same way — when they are loved. When you know and express your true self then, and only then, self-esteem is a possibility for you. Read me article, "Do You Have Self-Esteem: True or False?" to better understand the importance of being your true self to self-esteem.

http://www.newhopenow.org/notes/archive/esteem_true.html

SEEING YOURSELF WITH LOVING EYES

"We are not what we are. We are not even what others think we are. We are what we think others think we are." Think how this is true for a child. A child tends to become what he or she internalizes from Mom and Dad. There’s only one way to develop esteem for yourself: to agree with and internalize the esteem that God and other people have for you. You need to be in grace-giving, truth-honoring relationships. You need to be yourself with people who value you. And you need to accept it and take it in. As Christians we believe in the God who is love. We know He loves us, but many of us struggle to take this deep inside and to esteem ourselves. It takes faith. It takes prayer. And it takes the body of Christ - sharing your feelings and struggles with people who care and offering your personality and your gifts to those who appreciate it. We all need at least one person that we trust and respect and are fully and completely honest with on a regular basis - someone with whom we share our hurts and our happiness, our guilt and our dreams. When those we trust value, care for, or appreciate us and we receive the gift then our self-esteem rises.

FULFILL YOUR POTENTIAL

Let tell you about a man who died and met Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Realizing Saint Peter was a wise and knowledgeable person, he said, "Saint Peter, I have been interested in military history for many years. Tell me who was the greatest general of all times?" Saint Peter quickly responded, "Oh, that's a simple question. It is that man right over there," as he pointed nearby. The man said, "You must be mistaken, Saint Peter. I knew that man on earth. He was just a common laborer." "That's right, my friend," replied Saint Peter. "But he would have been the greatest general of all time -- if he had been a general." You were created with natural abilities and an internal compass that guides you toward a particular focus for your life. By realizing and using your gifts you experience meaning and build your self-esteem. Michelangelo said, "It is only well with me when I have a chisel in my hand." It is well with me when I am writing, teaching, or counseling. How about you? What do you need to be doing to feel good about yourself?

STRATEGIES TO STRENGTHEN SELF-ESTEEM

For 10 practical strategies to grow your self-esteem read my article, "Strategies to Strengthen Self-Esteem." http://www.newhopenow.org/notes/archive/self-esteem.html

www.self-esteem-nase.org.

La Belle Foundation: Helpful information to improve self-esteem in daily life, www.selfesteem.org/labelle/index.htm

Shyness: An index to resources for shyness, www.shyness.com

Esteem Yourself as God Does CE Notes