The
New Hope Crisis Counseling Center Continuing Education Series
April 2002
Class Outline
William
Gaultiere, Ph. D., Director of New Hope & Psychologist
with ChristianSoulCare.com
(714) 971-4213,
DrBill@CrystalCathedral.org
WELCOME
I'm so
glad that you're taking this class with me. Your efforts
to learn and improve as a New Hope Counselor are fantastic!
One very important characteristic of effective counselors
is that they are eager to learn. When we listen to callers
and chatters we want to have an attitude of trying to learn
about their concern and the help that they need.
This
class is on anxiety. Everyone one of us has talked with anxious
callers and chatters before and we've all felt anxious ourselves
to some extent at one time or another. So, here we are, ready
to learn and to share in this important class.
GOALS
OF CLASS
- Grow
in your understanding of and compassion for what it's like
to struggle with an anxiety problem.
- Increase
your effectiveness in offering New Hope Counseling for those
who are anxious.
- Experience
more of God's peace personally.
WHAT IS
A-N-X-I-E-T-Y?
Here are
seven symptoms of anxiety, in the acronym, a-n-x-i-e-t-y.
A
gitated? Are you easily frustrated or irritated or upset?
Do you lose your temper often?
N
ot sleeping? Are you having trouble getting to
sleep or staying asleep? Do you often wake up and not feel
rested?
X
-fears? Do you have any fears that you accommodate
by avoiding situations? Are you afraid of social situations,
interpersonal conflict, rejection, failure, public speaking,
leaving home, airplanes, spiders, knives, etc.?
I
n your body? Have you been experiencing shortness
of breath, heart palpitations, tightness in your chest, discomfort
in your stomach or bowels, twitching, shaking hands, sweaty
palms, or tingling?
E
scalating worries? Are you worried about problems
you're facing? Do your thoughts race out of control?
T
raumas relived? Does your mind keep re-experiencing
an upsetting event(s)? Are you having nightmares?
Y
es all the time? Do you feel pressured to say
yes to other people, to your perfectionism, or to make troubling
thoughts go away?
HOW ANXIETY
PROBLEMS DEVELOP
In the
diagram the container represents the "self." When someone
is anxious underneath that they are also feeling hurt, fear,
anger, sadness/grief, guilt, shame, or needy. Anxiety is
a "secondary emotion" that is the result of pressure from
stressors that elicit emotion and repressors that deny that
emotion.
The
two competing forces create a friction that we feel as anxiety.
It's like holding the lid down on a pot of boiling water or
trying to drive by giving the car gas and breaking at the
same time. If the tension is severe or chronic then the result
is an anxiety disorder.
GENERALIZED
ANXIETY DISORDER
People
with generalized anxiety disorder experience persistent anxiety
and worry that focuses on at least two stressful situations.
In other words, they spend a lot of time worrying intensely
and their worry is out of proportion to what is realistic
for the situation.
I grew
up with anxiety. I think every member of my family has had
generalized anxiety. In my family people worry and worry.
Intense discussions, continually analyzing problems, complaining
about what's wrong, and seeking solutions to fix everything
are continual. Looking back, it seemed like problems were
everywhere. Family members, extended family, other people,
the church, my dad's job, politics, and many other subjects
all had numbers problems to worry about.
It took me a number of years as an adult to learn more helpful
ways of dealing with anxiety and to experience inner peace.
I used psychotherapy, educating myself, relaxation exercises,
lifestyle changes, prayer and other things to find some relief.
I still struggle some with anxiety at times, but it's so much
better. Now because I have better boundaries and I know how
to process my feelings until I experience some peace, I'm
able to be with difficult family members and other anxious
people without being overcome with anxiety.
PANIC
DISORDER
It's frightening
to experience a panic disorder. You feel like you're being
smothered and can't hardly breathe. Your heart pounds and hurts
and you're afraid you're having a heart attack. You tremble
or feel tingling or numbness in your hands and feet and you're
afraid you're going to faint. You start sweating or have hot
and cold flashes. You feel like you're not all there; it all
feels so unreal. And worst of all, you're afraid that you're
going crazy and that you're going to die.
Once someone
has had an anxiety attack they develop "anticipatory anxiety;"
they're afraid to have another attack, which in itself creates
anxiety.
Once I helped
a man I'll call Jon. Here's how panic disorder developed for
him. He'd catch a cold, get an infection, or have an allergic
reaction. (Initiating circumstance.) The congestion would
make breathing a little more difficult. (Unpleasant bodily
symptoms.) He'd start worrying that he wouldn't be able to
breathe. Then he'd sniff compulsively. His sniffing and worrying
would keep him from falling asleep. (Increased focus on symptoms.)
Then he'd tell himself that he'd be up all night, and he wouldn't
be able to function at work the next day. He'd even think that
he was going to suffocate. (Catastrophic interpretation.)
Then he'd have a panic attack.
SOCIAL
PHOBIA
This is a
common anxiety problem and includes people who avoid social
situations out of fear of embarrassment or endure them with
overwhelming anxiety. Fear of public speaking is an example.
So are fear of blushing in public, fear of crowds, fear of using
public toilets, and fear of taking exams.
Carrie
(not her real name) was afraid of introducing herself in her
church small group. Her anxiety escalated as people were
introducing themselves around the circle. Her heart started
racing, her breathing became shallow, and she became sweaty.
She was terrified that people would see her blushing or that
she'd stutter and that, in any case, people would laugh at
her. Before it was her turn she got up from her chair and
went to the bathroom. Then she went back to the group when
she knew she wouldn't have to introduce herself.
Social
phobia is just one example of a phobia. Another phobia, that
is even more common is agoraphobia, which is a fear of being
trapped in a situation and having a panic attack with no one
safe to help you. To manage their fear, agoraphobics avoid
the public places they're afraid of. There are many other
phobias (intense fear and avoidance of) flying on an airplane,
high places, spiders, knives, or other things.
POST
TRAUMATIC STRESS DISODER (PTSD)
Jim (not
his real name) was 25 years old on 9-11-2002 when the terrorists
attacked the World Trade towers and rocked his world. For
three months three months he busied himself in his work until
he found that anxiety was overwhelming him. He couldn't concentrate.
He was exhausted and yet couldn't sleep. He was full of fear
and felt like he was living outside his body. He worked near
an airport and whenever a plane flew overhead he had frightening
flashbacks to being a boy in New York City and watching the
planes fly over his head. Then the image would morph into
the planes crashing into the towers and he'd start crying
and shaking. He had PTSD.
LEARNING
TO SET LIMITS TO COPE WITH ANXIETY
Most people
with anxiety problems expect themselves to be super strong.
They think that they should always be "calm, cool, and collected."
Control is their operative word. They do too much, take on
more responsibility than they can handle, try too hard to please
other people, and deny their feelings and needs. Eventually
it catches up to them in bouts of anxiety. They need to learn
to acknowledge their limits and say no sometimes.
This was
a big part of my generalized anxiety disorder. I had to accept
that I couldn't do everything I wanted to do, but I need to
prioritize more and let some things go. I learned when I needed
to say no to someone's request because I didn't have time or
energy or had another commitment to keep. I spent more time
relaxing (I'm still working on that one!) and I gave myself
permission to feel, to need, and to struggle. Limits like these
were an important part of helping me to feel more peace.
USING
POSITIVE SELF-TALK TO COPE WITH ANXIETY
People with
anxiety problems, like in the examples above, experience an
escalation of fear. Their fear feeds on itself, getting worse
and worse. Let's get inside the mind of the anxious person
to see how their negative self-talk is a part of this viscous
cycle and then let's consider how using positive self-talk can
help to stabilize and calm the person who is anxious:
Negative
Self-Talk Escalates Fear
|
Threat >>
|
Negative
Self-Talk
>>
|
Body
Symptoms
>>
|
Negative
Self-Talk
>>
|
Panic |
|
(1st
Fear)
|
Repression
|
(2nd
Fear)
|
Catastrophic
|
(3rd
Fear)
|
|
|
|
Hurt
|
"I'm
too sensitive."
|
Racing
heart
|
"I
can't stand this!"
|
|
|
|
|
Conflict
|
"I can't have needs."
|
Shallow
breathing
|
"I'm
losing control."
|
|
|
. . . . .
|
|
Stress
|
"I've
got to be strong."
|
Sweaty
|
"What will others think?"
|
|
|
|
|
Demand
|
"I
can't show feelings."
|
Twitches
|
"I'm going to die!"
|
|
|
|
|
Violation
|
|
Tingling
|
|
|
|
. . . . .
|
|
Criticism
|
|
Dizziness
|
|
|
|
|
|
Upset
stomach
|
|
|
POSITIVE
SELF-TALK CALMS FEAR
|
Threat >>
|
Positive
Self-Talk
>>
|
Body
Symptoms
>>
|
Positive
Self-Talk
>>
|
Coping |
|
|
Affirmation
|
|
Accepting
|
|
|
|
|
|
"It's normal to feel."
|
|
"I
can handle this."
|
|
|
|
|
|
"My
needs are ok."
|
|
"Let it pass. Ride it out."
|
|
|
. . . . .
|
|
|
"It's courageous to
|
|
"My
friend accepts my fears
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I
can share with a friend
|
|
"I've
survived this before."
|
|
Responding
to the fear that may accompany stress or hurt with affirming
self-talk (instead of denying your feelings) is calming.
Accepting the reality of anxiety symptoms in your body (instead
of reacting with catastrophic thinking) is also calming.
In other words, rather than fight against your feelings and
your body you seek to understand, validate, and comfort your
feelings. The way we learn to do this is by internalizing
caring messages from people (e.g., counselor, friend, support
group leader) who listen to our anxiety.
Let
me illustrate by referring back to three of the examples we
discussed above:
- Jon
learned to cope with his panic by saying to himself, "It's
scary for me when my breathing is more difficult. I've
survived this before. I won't suffocate. I'm just anxious
because I have a lot of feelings I need to talk through."
- Carrie
was able to face her fear of introducing herself to groups
of people by thinking, "It's ok for me to be nervous meeting
new people. Blushing doesn't make me a bad person. Besides,
most people like me when they get to know me."
- Jim
went back to his job near the airport with the mindset,
"It's natural for me to be scared and saddened by the terrorist
attacks. If I have flashback I can ride it out until it
subsides and then talk about my feelings later with my friend."
ENTRUSTING
YOUR FEELINGS TO GOD AND OTHERS
This is at
the heart of any antidote for anxiety. Earlier I said that
anxiety is a secondary emotion. We feel anxious when we deny
our fear or hurt or anger. So it makes sense that we feel less
anxious when we talk through the underlying feelings with someone
we trust.
What's
the magic in verbalizing your feelings? What makes this helpful
for people who are anxious? Sharing feelings with a listener
is cathartic or relieving of tension when you "let go" of
what's troubling you by letting someone else feel what you
feel and help to carry your load. The turmoil becomes less
intense and more manageable. Putting words to what you're
feeling gives you perspective on your struggle, helping you
to understand your situation more clearly and to think through
any decisions. It helps you to realize that your feelings
are valid, real, and understandable. Realizing that someone
cares enough to listen and to understand and to struggle with
you is comfort for your hurt and encouragement for getting
through your problem. In time you realize that you feel more
peace.
In the
Psalms of the Bible, David, the author of most of the psalms,
gives us a model for sharing our troubles with God. By writing
out or simply praying our own psalms we too can experience
more of God's peace. Like David, we tell God just what we're
feeling, even if it's anger at Him, and He listens and is
concerned and responsive. David also shows us how to receive
God's care by thanking Him for his provisions, starting with
the smallest of blessings.
THE A-B-C'S
OF NEW HOPE COUNSELING FOR THE LONELY
The basics
of what we do are as easy as A-B-C. The hardest part is tuning
into callers' and chatters' feelings and resisting urges to
give advice or reassurance.
- Actively
listen for (ask about and reflect) feelings
- Brainstorm
for (collaborate to develop) an action step
- Close
with a referral and/or prayer
NEW
HOPE REFERRALS
- Anxiety
Disorders Association of America, 1-301-231-9350, www.adaa.org
- TERRAP
treatment programs for anxiety, www.terrap.com
- Overcomers
Outreach, nationwide Christian support groups, 1-800-301-3001,
www.overcomersoutreach.org
FREE
NEW HOPE RESOURCES
- "Do You Have ANXIETY?"
(Self-Test)
- "Antidotes
for Anxiety," 26 strategies to reduce anxiety,
- "How do I Overcome
Anxiety?" (Ask Dr. Bill Article),
- "How do I Learn to
Relax? (Relaxation Exercise, Ask Dr. Bill Article)
LET'S
PRACTICE!
To
receive CE credit and the satisfaction of accomplishment take
the CE Exam, which includes a role-play, and turn it into
SheilaS@CrystalCathedral.org.
Complete all 11 classes for 2002 and you'll receive a special
award at the end of the year!