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Question:
I’ve been told I should think of myself as lowly. And I read
in the Bible where King David referred to himself as a “worm.”
Does that mean that we should think of ourselves as worthless?
Answer:
It
sounds like you are struggling with low self-esteem. You are not
alone. This soul sickness that afflicts people of all types. Even
people who seem to have it all together may have self-esteem problems.
That’s because self-esteem doesn’t have as much to do
with things like beauty, intelligence, or success as it does with
how we feel about ourselves. To esteem ourselves we need to see
and affirm the value of who we are and what feel inside. And we
need that same affirmation and encouragement from God and people
we trust. And yet, tragically, sometimes people like you who turn
to other people or to the Bible for help in feeling better about
themselves come away feeling worse! This happens when Scriptures
are misinterpreted or when other people perpetuate their own low
self-esteem on you. Apparently you’ve had problems in both
areas.
Your question
focuses on King David referring to himself as a worm. Let me set
the context for you to help you understand what David meant. Consider
that at the heart of our Bible God has placed the book of Psalms,
which is basically a journal of prayers, praises, and pleas for
help written by David and others. Many of these psalms, like Psalm
22 in which David referred to himself as a worm, were written
in times of difficulty and pain. David begins this psalm crying
out to God, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why
are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?”
He goes on to say, “I am a worm and not a man, scorned by
men and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they hurl
insults…” (Psalm 22:6-7a). Near the end of the psalm
he musters up the faith to suggest that even though he’s
feeling bad at the moment he believes that God has not despised
or disdained him in his suffering and has not hidden his face,
but has indeed listened to his cry for help (Psalm 22:24).
What you need
to know is that when David says, “I am a worm and not a man,”
he’s not making a statement about his worth or about how
God feels about him. He’s simply describing his feelings
in the moment. He’s feeling badly because he’s been
continually mistreated. People have been insulting him and rejecting
him even though he hasn’t done anything wrong! He’s
crying out to God for help, but his situation hasn’t improved
yet. I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful that psalms
like this are included in our Bible! There are times that I too
feel like a worm and not a man. Times that I feel badly after
being insulted or rejected. Times that I cry out for God’s
help, but feel so distant from him. This psalm reminds me that
I am not alone and that God does care, even though for a time
it may seem like he doesn’t. So even when I am at my worst
I can talk to God about my feelings and he will listen, he will
care, he will help me in due time.
As much as
David went though some hard times he knew his value to God; he
had a high sense of self-worth. The worm-like feelings he felt
in Psalm 22 were temporary; he didn’t let shame or worthlessness
take a hold of his soul and cripple him. At rock bottom in his
soul was a positive self-esteem. He was standing on this foundation
when he prayed to God, “I praise you because I am fearfully
and wonderfully made…. How precious concerning me are your
thoughts, O God” (Psalm 139:14a, 17). Like David, we too
need to know that we are wonderful and precious in God’s
sight. God esteems us greatly and he wants us have a strong sense
of positive self-esteem.
To be sure,
I’m not encouraging you to have a “Pollyanna” self-esteem
that is idealistic and unrealistic. A truly positive self-esteem
is realistic about not only our good points but also our bad points.
None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have character
weaknesses. We all are sinners. The Apostle Paul spoke for all
of us when he confessed, “For I have the desire to do what
is good, but I cannot carry it out” (Romans 7:18b). Even
though, like Paul, we don’t always do what is good, we need
to remember that God loves us and he forgives us and we can love
and forgive ourselves too. As Paul himself said, “There is
no condemnation for those who are in Christ” (Romans 8:1).
We don’t need to live with guilt and self-criticism. When
we mess up all we need to do is say we’re sorry and the slate
is wiped clean (1 John 1:9). We can feel good about ourselves
even though we are imperfect if we remember that we are loved
and we receive God’s forgiveness. God knows us completely,
the good and the bad, and he loves and esteems us fully. We need
to do the same. When we do, not only will we benefit but those
around us will benefit as we share that same love and esteem with
them.
So if you
ever feel like a worm again don’t stop there. Talk to God
or a friend about how you feel. Remember what God has done for
you and how he feels about you. Realize that you are not a worm
but a caterpillar who is becoming a beautiful butterfly! This
is God’s dream for you and I. It’s to take us as we
are, even if we be crawling along in the dirt like worms, and
wrap us in a cocoon of comfort and caring for a time. Then he
wants to take our wounds and our weaknesses and work wonders by
giving us wings, painting us with colorful patterns, and lifting
our spirits so we can fly in the sky!
* For more
Bible verses and thoughts on how God loves and esteems us see
“God’s
Love, Our Christmas Gift” in New Hope Notes on New Hope
Online.
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