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For others the holiday scene is even more disappointing because there were few if any family and friends to celebrate with, being with family was hurtful and stressful, or memories of past holiday hurts came flooding back. So to get through it all they hid or just went through the motions – alone with their painful feelings.

It’s no wonder we’re prone to suffer this time of year. We tend to get our expectations set so high that we think there’s something wrong with us if we’re not frenetically happy 24-hours a day from Thanksgiving through the 12^th day of Christmas! So to keep disappointment and stress at bay and continually re-excite ourselves we’re likely to buy too many gifts, go to too many parties, drive too fast, and eat too much food. And as we exhaust ourselves rushing from thing to thing we may put on a smile that says, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” when what we really feel is, "Oh, no! Oh, no!"

When we reach the New Year most of us review how we’ve been living and face up once again to our life struggles that we set aside for the holidays. This is why at the beginning of the year more and more calls ring into 714-NEW-HOPE and more and more private chats click into NewHopeNow.org. They come in from around the world...

• "Only one of my four children called me this Christmas..."
• "My husband is leaving me!"
• "My company had to cut costs and they let me go..."
• "I feel depressed and I don’t know why..."

DeLoryes Lee called 714-NEW-HOPE one January after her mother died. "I was devastated," she recalls. "I couldn’t function properly to make the arrangements. The New Hope Counselors were so kind. They were loving and helpful. And even though I wasn’t a church member at the time they put me in touch with a pastor."

Like DeLoryes, you don’t have to succumb to post-holiday depression. Here are some ideas on how to overcome the deflation or despair that can set in at the New Year:

If you're feeling that let down or if facing the New Year has you feeling discouraged...

1. Accept where you're at. Admit to your challenges and see them as an opportunity to grow personally and spiritually.
2. Take a step. Positive change starts by taking one step in the right direction! Pick one thing to work on today!
3. Talk about it. You're not alone – others do feel like you do – so don’t try to bear your struggles alone. Share your feelings with a caring listener. 24-hours a day you can talk live with a volunteer New Hope Counselor atl 714-NEW-HOPE, 714-NEW-TEEN, or NewHopeNow.org.
4. Pray about it. You can talk to God like David does in the Psalms of the Bible: open your heart to share whatever you’re feeling. Then listen for his loving words to you in the Bible, nature, your friends, or your own heart!
5. Get outside your self. Open your eyes and ears to other people who need help. God can use you to encourage someone else and doing so will energize you for dealing with your challenges too!
6. Plan to do next Christmas differently! Set realistic expectations, acknowledge your limits, and invest in good relationships that will help you to celebrate the reason for the season: the love of God to us in Jesus!

Let me elaborate on the fifth point above, which has been immensely helpful to DeLoryes. It was 15 years ago that DeLoryes got help from New Hope and ever since she has volunteered as a New Hope Counselor – first as a telephone counselor at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove and then as an online counselor from her home computer in Orange. She explains, “I wanted to return the good that had been given to me... It’s a far reaching opportunity to help others one-on-one... People are looking for love and care and/or referral direction. We, in Christ, offer them that. It’s such a blessing to me personally, that sometimes I feel selfish for doing it!”

DeLoryes has learned that the secret to overcoming post holiday depression – or any depression for that matter – is to learn how to care for others. Everyday she can live out the true Christmas spirit of “Joy to the world! The Lord has come!” And she isn’t alone anymore – she’s part of a New Hope family of caring volunteers who gather together for continuing education classes, social events, church services, or to pray for one another. She serves side-by-side with other New Hope Counselors caring for those who are hurting and giving them new hope.

Many people make New Year’s resolutions. Helping others who are hurting is a resolution worth making... and one that actually can be kept! That’s what Glenn Gorman of Villa Park did. As a retired police officer who had gone onto to develop a successful auto body repair business, Preferred Auto Body and Paint, he felt a “void” because he missed helping people. Then on January 1^st in 1999 he read an article in the Orange County Register that led him to make a life-changing decision. The story described the dramatic rise in calls to the Crystal Cathedral’s New Hope Crisis Counseling Center after the holidays and the need for more people to volunteer to listen. He recalls, “When I read that article, I thought, ‘Maybe this is my calling.’”

Glenn attended the New Hope Counselor training course at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove and learned that God truly cares about people’s pain and that by offering his ears and his heart in basic ways he could help people to get their lives on a good track. "I went from a ‘bottom-line’ kind of guy to someone who can listen – really listen," Glenn said. He has continued listening for six years and counting. But he still fondly recalls making good on his resolution to help others: "I remember driving home after my first night at New Hope. I felt that same satisfaction that I did when I worked for the police department without having to go out on the streets and face people with guns, crazed on cocaine." In fact, Glenn believes so much in the value of serving as a New Hope Counselor that he got his mother to volunteer as well!

William Gaultiere, Ph.D. is the Executive Director of the New Hope Crisis Counseling Center at the Crystal Cathedral and a Clinical Psychologist and Spiritual Director with ChristianSoulCare.com. On his website you can sign up for a free, bi-monthly inspirational e-mail.