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New
Hope CE Notes,
November, 2000
Dr.
Bill Gaultiere
(714)
971-4213,
DrBill@CrystalCathedral.org
This
timely CE class addresses the importance of being thankful.
Please respond to this class with your questions, insights,
or comments in "Counselor Discussions" at www.NewHopeOnline.org/counselors.
Remember to complete the attached exam for New Hope CE credit.
Perfect CE attendance (live class, tape, or notes & exam)
for the all 11 classes in 2001 will receive a special certificate
and reward!
LET
THANKSGIVING SET THE TONE FOR YOUR HOLIDAYS
Thanksgiving
comes at an opportune time: right before the pressures, high
expectations, and materialism of Christmas. Being grate-full
now and carrying this attitude through the holidays is just
what we need to ward off Decemberís temptations toward anxiety,
disappointment, and greed. In my family we take the month of
November for a special focus on expressing our thanks to God
for specific blessings we appreciate.
"THANK
YOU:" HOLY AND HEALTHY WORDS (Bible teachings on the importance
and benefits of thankfulness)
Thankfulness
is uncommon: "Were not all ten [lepers] cleansed? Where
are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise
to God except this foreigner?" Luke 17:17-18
Ungratefulness
for forgiveness decreases your capacity to love: "He
who has been forgiven little loves little." Luke 7:47
Ungratefulness
to God darkens your heart: "For although they knew
God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him,
but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were
darkened." Romans 1:21
God is
good: "Give
thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."
Psalm 107:1
Thanksgiving
ushers us into Godís presence: "Enter his gates with
thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to Him
and praise His name." Psalm 100:4
Thankfulness
carries us through difficulties: "Give thanks in all
circumstances, for this is Godís will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Say "Thank
you" to deepen relationships: "I thank my God
every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you,
I always pray with joy because of your partnershipÖ" Philippians
1:3-5
Gratitude
is an antidote for anxiety: "Do not be anxious about
anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends
all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in
Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
HOW
TO RAISE YOUR ATTITUDE WITH GRATITUDE
- Release
negative feelings. A positive, grateful attitude begins
with being honest about negative realities. Processing our
hurts and struggles with a caring listener helps to open
us up to gratitude through "catharsis," releasing
of negative, painful feelings. "Blessed are the pure
in heart for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8. "Pure"
means cleansing, cathartic process resulting in good feelings
and motives.
- Focus
on the good. Life is 10 % what happens to us and 90% how
we react to what happens to us. Our attitude is key. Continually
look for the good in things and youíll find it. Count your
blessings and theyíll be many. Attribute these blessings
as coming from God. David did this time and again even as
he was expressing his struggles. "Every good and perfect
gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly
lights." James 1:17. Thankfulness is related to contentment.
Thankfulness is wanting what you have. Contentment is not
wanting anymore. Hereís a question to help you remember
the difference: Who is more content the man with $5 million
dollars or the man with 5 children? The one with 5 children
because he doesnít want any more!
- Be
with positive people. Appreciativeness, optimism, and enthusiasm
in others will rub off on you. Get with people like this.
Watch movies and read stories about people like this. Get
it inside and itíll come out. "As iron sharpens iron,
so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs
27:17 (NKJV)
- Help
others who are less fortunate. Seeing and feeling for others
who are facing painful challenges casts a contrasting light
on the blessings in our own life. It can be very eye-opening
to see what other people are dealing with and may make you
glad to have the problems that you have. This is one of
many blessings of helping others. "It is more blessed
to give than to receive." Acts 20:35.
- Read
the Possibility Thinkerís Bible. Especially positive verses
are highlighted and commented on by Dr. Schuller.
- Offer
thanks to God regularly. Often itís a struggle to be thankful;
we just donít feel like it. At such times we can discipline
ourselves to offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God. "Let
us then sacrifice thank offerings and tell of His works
with songs of joy." Psalm 107:22
HOW
TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE, UNTHANKFUL PEOPLE
- Active
Listening. Every New Hope call or chat, even with negative,
unthankful people should begin with active listening. Think
of it like a tennis match and youíre volleying back and forth
with the caller. Unless the caller is abusive or inappropriate
you should have a number of active listening exchanges before
you respond with other means of being helpful. The key here
is empathizing with the callersí feelings. Build a connection
that shows you care and this will impact people (unless theyíre
disconnected or hardened).
- Brainstorm
positive steps for today. To be effective this must common
after youíve demonstrated cared and connected through active
listening. Brainstorming is not offering advice. Advice giving
is "solutions" coming from an "expert"
to someone who is viewed is rather helpless. Donít give advice.
Brainstorm by collaborating with callers and chatters on their
level, discussing ideas and options for what they might do
as a positive step to deal with their situation.
- Set gentle
limits. If youíre dealing with a stuck, negative caller/chatter
who is deflecting, spoiling, yes butting, or negating the
help youíre giving realize whatís going on and limit your
time. Give the best New Hope help you can give and if itís
not working well then wind down the call by giving a warning
that you need to get going and offering a summary comment
a prayer or a resource. Be careful not to let this type of
caller get under your skin and agitate you; donít react in
anger. It can be difficult to stay calm and loving with this
type of caller, but that is our role!
CE Exam for CE Credit The Power of Thankfulness
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