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New Hope CE Notes
March 2000

Dr. Bill Gaultiere
(714) 971-4213
drbill@CrystalCathedral.org

This is the complete notes from class — everything but jokes and stories! Remember to complete the attached exam, either for the fun and challenge of it or to get New Hope CE credit.

A lone. Does he/she tend to use the internet alone? Addicts tend to be isolated. Internet addicts are particularly vulnerable on this point as they often physically alone at their computer and their only interaction may be to chat with strangers.

N on-premeditated Use. Does he/she spend time on the internet without planning or intending to do so? Addicts tend to use their substance, activity, or person reactively and unconsciously. They don’t think about what they’re about to do; they just do it. They give little or no consideration to whether or not what they’re about to do is good for them or others or is right. They may not even be aware of why they’re doing it or what they feel at the time.

A mnesia. Does he/she completely lose track of time when on the internet, such that hours go by when it seemed like minutes? Alcoholics may have black outs with total amnesia, or lack of memory, for what went on. Other addicts, to a lesser extent, dissociate or numb out when using and are unconscious or unaware of how much time they spent or exactly what they did.

D istracted. When not on the internet is he/she distracted by re-occurring thoughts of using the internet? Most addicts obsess about when they can use again. Their thoughts and fantasies of doing their addiction intrude into the rest of their lives.

D ependent. Is he/she dependent upon internet use to function or to feel good? Has he/she tried to cut back on internet use and been unable to? Addicts are controlled by their addiction. They’ve come to need the "high" it gives them and they can’t stop doing it. They’ll may say that they can stop, but their attempts to cut back have been short-lived or insignificant. When addicts do stop they may experience withdrawal (psychomotor agitation, anxiety, irritability, depression).

I creased Tolerance. Does he/she use the internet increasingly more as time goes on? Addicts use their addiction more and more over time in order to get the desired effect. And they can handle more of this substance or activity than most other people. For the internet addict, initially, an hour now and again chatting on the internet was interesting and exciting and felt like enough. Then it was an hour a day and grew to four hours a day.

C onceal their supply. Does he/she hide from others what’s being done on the internet or how much time is being spent? Addicts tend to be secretive about their activity. And they keep a stash of their drug of choice to make sure it’s immediately available. With internet compulsiveness that may mean multiple ISP’s, laptop computer with hook-up, or wireless internet access.

T ranquilizer. Does he/she use the internet as a way to avoid or escape issues like boredom, loneliness, depression, anxiety, anger, or relationship disappoints and conflicts? Instead of getting their personal needs met through relationships addicts use their addiction. Instead of getting help for their conflicts and hurts from people they go to their compulsion.

1. Types of Internet Addictions and Examples (From www.InternetAddiction.com).
1. Surfing. Going from one site to another or one internet activity to another to see what’s happening.
• i am a student. i have started surfing the net for a year. I don’t know how to stop and continue to play until 4am or later. It really affects my life such no time to do my revision, no time to play with my friends, no time to chat with my family.
2. Chatting. Chatting with others in chat rooms or on AOL Instant Messenger/ICQ or via e-mail.
• My husband of 30 years is chat addicted. He spends 20+ hrs/week online pretending he is a teenager. He is very secetive about this, but I'm computer literate and know what's going on. He says it's fine, doesn't affect me, I think it's creepy. I think I would rather be really alone than virtually alone.
• My name is Laura..and i am 14 years old..since 3 years i have internet..and I am kind of addicted. I am in the net maby 4-5 hours a day..an if I can't get into I just go crazy, its the same line as our phoneline..and if my brother wants to call somebody I beat him up...I don't know what to do..and I live in Turkey and they don't know anything about Internet-addiction. I even don't go out that often, because I always want to go into the Internet. You know the programm icq?? thats my chat...I always chat there...and I think thats the reason why I am always online, just because of that program.. I hope that you can help me.. Laura
1. Cybersex. Having sex with others in chat rooms, IM’s/ICQ, or e-mail via words and/or pictures.
• Hi, I am a 45 yr old woman that became very addicted to sex chat rooms. It start out with me just being very curious as to what people do and say in these chat rooms. I am very much overweight and have a very low esteem of myself. I am very much still sexually alive, but had no one in my life to share those emotions with. I got involved in chatting with men in sex rooms. There I could be who I wanted to be, young, attractive and exciting. I met a man that I had come to enjoy chatting with until early hours in the morning, enjoyed receiving e-mails from every morning and every evening. We would write and plan times to meet in the sex chat rooms. He would send me email greeting cards, nasty cards and I was simply enjoying the attention. After a few days of chatting, he gave me his phone number and I would call him and we would talk about many things, but mostly phone sex for hours at my expense, because I wouldn't give him my phone number. When I received my phone bill, I didn't even open it right away afraid of the damage I had done, calling someone I didn't even know talking sex on the phone.
• My husband left me for someone he met in a Chat Room and now I have to raise 2 kids under 12 on my own. He was on the computer when I went to bed at night. I thought he was working, but he was chatting to other women all year and finally connected with an emotional relationship, then called her on phone, then met. I threw him out, as I was sleeping alone at this point and he lost his job because he was on computer till 5 a.m. and couldnt get sleep or up for work.
2. Money. Gambling, day trading, investing can be done online compulsively.
• 28-year old Jared quit his job to trade stocks full time on the internet. He was so confident of his success that he borrowed $40,000 on credit cards to build up his brokerage account. After two months tethered to his keyboard he found himself deep in debt and living at his parents house. He recalled, "It only took a few trades to really wipe me out." (From the Orange County register 2-28-99)
1. Principles of Recovery from an Addiction

1. Admitting the problem. Recovery starts by getting out of denial.

 

2. Seeking God’s help. Addiction is like a form of idolatry in which the addict’s life is centered around the addiction. The 12 Steps of Recovery are based on addicts getting God’s help.

 

3. Abstinence and accountability. Addicts must stop using and start bringing their feelings, conflicts, and needs into relationship.

 

4. Talking about the problem and underlying needs to a professional or a support group.

 

5. Replacing the addiction with a new, positive dependency to a church group, support group, sponsor, therapist, and, ultimately, to God.

 

6. Helping others. Give away the learning and care that you’ve received and it’ll multiply for you and keep you on the right path.

Internet Addiction CE Exam