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T.L.C. for S.O.S.
New Hope CE Notes,
February 2000

Dr. Bill Gaultiere
(714) 971-4213
DrBill@CrystalCathedral.org

This is the complete notes from class everything but jokes and stories! Remember to complete the attached exam, either for the fun and challenge of it or to get New Hope CE credit.

1. Introduction

• You have a story that's brought you to New Hope. You've come through some difficulties and pains and you've gotten some help and healing. Now you want to make a difference for other people in need. Remember your story and nurture it. It gives you the passion you need to continue helping others.
• It's our story that prepares and anoints us for crisis counseling. As Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

• To be a good crisis counselor you need a good heart and a few good techniques. We can't teach you to have a good heart. You get a good heart through being in loving relationships and responding well to life's challenges and opportunities. We can teach you a few good techniques to help you use your caring heart in ways that help people.

• T.L.C. for S.O.S. ' tender, loving care for those crying out to be saved from the storm- means using your heart and your head to lend a listening ear and a helping hand to those in crisis.

1. T.L.C. for S.O.S. ' 6 Essential Techniques in Crisis Counseling

1. T riage: Focus, focus, focus.

• Like an emergency room doctor or nurse crisis counselors must be good at triage. Focus on the most urgent need first.

 

• Priority issues are: suicide risk, pending homicide, child or elder abuse, trauma, grief, alcohol or drug abuse, medical needs, and professional counseling need. All these issues take priority over general counseling calls, which take priority over stuck frequent callers.

• Examples of Triage:

1. A girl wants to talk about her boyfriend's mother who criticizes her boyfriend and she feels hopeless that her life will ever be what she wants it to be. Focus on her feelings of hopelessness by establishing rapport, empathizing with her feelings, assessing suicide risk, and helping her find positive reasons to live

2. A woman is having problems with her boss at work and her mother just died. Focus on the grief issue.

3. An alcoholic is minimizing his problem and wants to talk about issues in his marriage. Focus on the addiction and encouraging him to go to AA.

2. L isten: Active Listening is the heart of New Hope counseling.

• Example: A girl calls and says, "My boyfriend just broke up with me. We've been dating for 4 months and now he's going out with my best friend!

• Here's the L-I-S-T-E-N acronym with samples of how you might use it in this case:

• Loving, non-judgmental attitude. Go into this call without bias or judgment. You're certainly not going to get on a moral soap box by questioning whether or not she's been having sex with her boyfriend. Instead your heart is open to hear and to care
  
• Invite self-disclosure with open-ended questions. "How did he break up with you?

• Summarize the gist of the caller's struggle/need. "It sounds like your boyfriend betrayed you."
  
• Timely reflection of the caller's feelings (not perceptions). "You must feel devastated" (or sad, betrayed, angry). Focus on her inner feeling/experience, not her perceptions of her boyfriend or why he did what he did. They key here is trying to understand her feelings and letting her clarify and use her own words for her feelings.
  
• Even-tempered (don't overreact). Don't react with a loud, surprised, "Oh, that's terrible!" Stay calm. A small reaction is okay. You just don't want to distract her from her own feelings.
  
• Nonverbal cues or little verbal phrases like "Hm hmmm," "Oh, I see," or "tell me more" to track the caller.

3. C ounseling Approach: 4 basic types of New Hope calls, each handled differently.

1. Suicide Prevention and other crisis calls (See "Suicide Intervention Instructions" and "Suicide Contact Sheet" in booths).

2. Counseling Call (See "Contact Sheet" and CE Class on "Helpful Counseling Techniques.")

• Example: What if I called New Hope as a teenager after one of my Mom's episodes of dumping her emotional problems on me? Here's some examples of how you might implement some standard "helpful counseling techniques" for a counseling call:

 

• Caring Response: It sounds like you feel overwhelmed. You feel you have to help your Mom, but you don't know what to say?

 

• Brainstorm: What do think you can do about these feelings? Tell her how you feel. Tell her you can't help her. Talk to your youth pastor or a counselor.

 

• Reinforce the Positive: It was good for you to call New Hope (or Teenline) and talk about this. I like your idea of telling your Mom how you feel.

 

1. Difficult Callers and Frequent Callers (See "How to Deal with a Frequent Caller" and "Sample Responses to Difficult Callers" in the Quick Reference Manual).

 

2. Short Calls: Information, Referral, Prayer (Use Tally Sheet)

 

3. S elect Referral: Always ask yourself, "Is there a referral that would help this caller?" (See "National Telephone Referrals," local Rainbow Directories, and "Internet Referral Links" on www.NewHopeOnline.org).

 

• Example: Recently a Christian mother called New Hope after her 18 year old son told her he was gay. She was in such a struggle. She loved her son and didn't want to reject him no matter what. And she was very concerned about the lifestyle decisions he was making. Mostly she was glad he told her, but now what? Our New Hope Counselor listened and supported her and prayed for her and she marked the contact sheet "Staff Follow Up" and included the mother's address. I got the contact sheet and did some quick research on www.NewHopeOnline.org referral links and found stories from other mothers in her situation, issues and possible responses for her to consider, and support groups for her.

 

3. O ffer Prayer: When appropriate, prayer is a powerful resource.

 

• Praying before or after a call is always a good idea.

 

• Make it your goal to be an answer to prayer by the way that you respond to the caller, by offering "a cup of cold water in Jesus' name."

 

• In the Quick Reference Manual there are a number of prayers that you can adapt and personalize.

 

3. S et Boundaries:

 

• Always stay within the New Hope context (See "New Hope Policies" in the Quick Reference Manual and "Caller and Counselor Relationship Guidelines" in the CE Resource Manual).

 

• With difficult callers you need to be assertive and set boundaries.

 

• Be prepared to end a call at the right time, graciously, gently, and after giving a warning that you're running out of time.
  
  
  The Crux of Crisis Counseling CE Exam